naive.

There was a light from a vehicle passing by.
I thought you were coming back for me.
But the light just passed by my house.
I am left broken, along with my daydream.

DID I OFFEND YOU YEAH?

you know, the infamous Topher Koper <33>

quote of the day numero uno

"nobody worth your tears."

-natasha djuhandi

LOVEMACHINE;

a collage from old instax photographs featuring two fecking best artists in the world:
Su Lyn Ng and Topher Koper!

Love them both mwah mwah.
This collage shows that they were gloomy and turn to a happy joy person once they found love!

dont get how could it mean so?
try guessing and comment on this picture to guess :)

Mon Autre Moitié

Photo by me, editing by Topher Koper

Paris, 2009

Bills!Bills!Bills!

Bills that built up on my wallet. I am astonished at how thick they are (gasp). They're eating out the space in my wallet. From Zara, to H&M, to Starbucks, to Burger King, to Watsons, and even Transjakarta Busway tickets. From Paris, to Barcelona, to Singapore, and Jakarta of course. And they are only some of them :\ And will continue building up :\ :\ They've been there since the holiday and I don't know why I can't throw them away. Haha what a freak.

call me sick but

Fashion is not my passion. Fashion was my passion but it is not anymore. But it doesn't mean that I hate fashion, in fact, I like dressing up very much. Shopping is very delighting indeed but I'm just not crazy over branded stuffs and I just don't bother researching about each of every designer's runway. I love how the Olsens dress, I love Birkin bag, I'm a Louis Vuitton Stephen Sprouse's collections fetish, I love oxford shoes, I love ankle boots, I certainly can't get enough stilettos, leather jackets have become my obsession, fashion photography is my favorite area of photography category, I like reading Nylon, but does it mean I am passionate about fashion? No.

DEADBEATS.

Wynona Oktascha
June 2009

if only

im sorry if i dont trust you fully.
im sorry if i often doubt it that you care about me.
im sorry if sometimes i tell you that i cant cope with you anymore.
im sorry. you know i love you deep inside.

if only you knew.
i love you.

i make believe II

..a continuation from the series.

i love you so, sugar.
i love you.

do not do not DO NOT use my images without my permission. it doesnt hurt to ask grr

longing for lullabies

awesome photography, brilliant idea, and emotional.
i love it :)

i make believe

no seriously,

if youre just gonna trash my cbox by saying 'blogwalking' and crossing your finger hoping that i would visit your blog, umm im really sorry but that doesn't really work, merci beaucoup amor, merci beaucoup.

xx,
Natasha Estelle Djuhandi

if you would teach me how to sleep

.
i would teach you how to lust to break to fantasize to hate to list to love and to die

gosh i cant sleep. i want you i want you i want you i want you
more than a kid want their frikking giant lollipop, more than an obese want a cheeseburger

waiting waiting goddammit waiting.

its almost 2 am now and im still waiting for him to call.
i cant sleep and i intentionally drank coffee at 9 pm but it seems like the coffee doesnt do his job well.
i gotta admit that i miss him. dammit why do i have to miss him. hmm?

dammit dammit i dont wanna sleep even though i know my so-called sleeping sacrifice only gonna give me a 3 minutes talk with him.
dammit dammit dammit dammit i really dont know why. i dont wanna sleep and i honestly dont know why.

(note that i had him for the whole day today. but i still miss him. pretty sure being the only one whos yearning right now. and yes i do feel very stupid.)

i just hate being in love and being committed after being in love. i love you but why do i have to love youu???